Brain Replacement Trials - Preliminary Testing

[Keegan]

ISD Research Log - 4/29/2022

Lead Researcher: R MC LTCOL Keegan 4571

Assistants: 69th PFC Memorable 2724 & 69th TRN Sauce 2468

Test Subjects: ST PVT Otto von Bismarck 3663 & 501st 1LT Axolotl 4651

(Unredacted Summary available upon request by Medical CL3+. Highlight text to read it!)

Subject Documentation:

501st 1LT Axolotl 4651

Standard Build for a 501st Trooper.

Waiver:

 

ST PVT Otto von Bismarck 3663

Standard Build for a Stormtrooper.

Waiver:

 

 

Topic of Research: Bodily Augmentation

Bodily Augmentation Category: Nervous System

Title of Experiment: Brain Replacement Trials - Preliminary Testing

Round: Round 1 (Preliminary)

Thesis: The replacement of a humanoid brain is possible and can allow for augmented bodily ability.

Procedure:

Upon receiving two able-bodied volunteers from the crew of the ship, ST PVT Otto von Bismarck 3663 & 501st 1LT Axolotl 4651, I was able to invite them to the back of the Medical Bay and provide them with a glass of water, one which I knew would likely be their last. I was able to obtain two Research Assistants, Private First Class Memorable & Trainee Sauce. With their help, I was able to get the proper documentation of the waiving of rights of the subjects, and thereafter place them under anesthesia. 

After placing them under anesthesia, I was able to explain the plan to my associates. "As the troopers around this ship are pretty stupid, we will be replacing their brains with that of those big-headed fucks, the Bith. They're the same species as those Jedi we always have to kill. Hopefully this will make them smarter," I said. I had obtained two Bith brains from DT Command after a raid on a village some months ago.

After the explanation of this, I directed my associates to provide the subjects with three times the standard dosage of morphine. Upon being asked what the standard dose was, I informed them it was one pound of morphine. So, three pounds of morphine into their veins after some small complications, and with Sauce even joking that this was "replacing all the blood in their bodies with morphine."

After they had this to help prevent any instances of the subjects waking mid-operation, we removed the skull-caps, and surgically removed the brains of the subjects, storing them for later experiments in this study. I revealed the Bith brains, and after some measurements determined they were too large to fit in the small skulls of my subjects. Surgically, we cut pieces of brain matter off to make them fit, then placed these brains into their skulls.

We placed our subjects in their uniforms before waking them, some old gear we had laying around with protective helmets for their exposed brains. They looked something like this:

After this, I informed my colleagues that the damage we had done to the brains was in the frontal lobe, and would likely lead to memory problems, impaired problem solving, and more. It was at this point that I made the decision to terminate the patients. We awoke the subjects and learned that their vocabulary had also shrunk from what was essentially a lobotomy, down to these words:

Mean, Shy, College, Classroom, Penalty, Reward, Recover, Assumption, Firefighter, Primary, State, Coin, Conference

We took the experiments and we able to convince them to follow via hand gestures and beckoning calls, similar to how I used to call local wildlife on my home planet. We took them across the ship, eventually leading them to the moonpool. We beckoned them onto the platform, and I repeatedly said "Reward" to the subjects while pointing to the ground to make them think they were getting something as we tied them to the platform. As the moonpool opened, and the ropes broke holding down the subjects, one yelped in fear as the other went down silently, their brain capacity too limited to understand the situation. 

Unfortunately for my colleagues, they too fell into the moonpool, slipping in while looking down. My two assistants, and two other Medical Personnel who came to watch upon my request, perished this way. Very unfortunate, but all for the Empire.
 

Results: Success. For a preliminary investigation into the possibility of brain transplants, I was able to determine that it is possible to transplant the brain, and I am very excited to find approval and funding for continued experimentation with replacement brains that are potentially from deceased Imperial Officers, to perhaps regain some of their knowledge and expertise in exchange for losing a grunt or two. 

Expenses: No credits, two stored Bith brains, one Stormtrooper enlisted, one 501st Officer, and four Medical Personnel.

Mentions: @bop@Bon@Bear_RP!

Edited April 29, 2022 by Keegan
add mentions!

[bop]

Omg!!!! This is amazing, thank you Keegan!

[Bear_]

I love RP!!!

[Bartholomew]

I LOVE READING THESE, WOOO RP!!!

[Guest Mr Pass]

Love this idea +1, also give Jabronie emperor already and stop wasting time

 

[SAINTY.]

Hot

[Bon]

great rp @Keegan lucky I didnt let you transfer

[Apple Apple]

please replace Nimo's brain

[Rux]

[Frog]

On 4/30/2022 at 5:42 PM, Apple Apple said:

please replace Nimo's brain

 

[Keegan]

@NimoYou see this?? I will spare you if you remove my forums warning!

[Nimo]

[Theta]

On 4/30/2022 at 6:42 PM, Apple Apple said:

please replace Nimo's brain