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A normal Interview with SCP-035 (32 questions) Commission for weekly challenge for SCP-035


Old parkland

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 Date of Interview: 2/5/2021 10:00 AM

The topic: Just to ask what SCP-035s opinion is on all sentient SCPs, and a my custom list of questions
 

Extra Information: SCP-035 is this ceramic comedy mask dating back to Greek origins, it is not to be screwed around with, it is a Keter class SCP, and has been infamous for major Keter and Euclid breaches.

Approx time to finish reading (30 minutes)

START

SCP-035: You should let me out of here

EXP Parkland27: Nope... Alright uhh... I'ma ask you a bunch of questions, so you're going to be here for a while, is that alright?
 

SCP-035: That's perfectly fine by me chief

EXP Parkland27: 'during this time i am getting my notes together' *Yawns* What do you think about SCP-610?
 

SCP-035: He's a pretty chill guy, I wouldn't really spend my weekends with him though, i wouldn't really take over the world with him... he's a bit of a lazy... stoop

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what do you think of SCP-049?

 

SCP-035: 049?... hm... well... I think, me and him have similar ideas, but his way of doing it of execution is not really good

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what do you think of SCP-096

SCP-035: I understand his need for human flesh, but like... i dont really... for say he needs as much or like he would, he shouldn't really, but should only kill when he has to, i mean like, i know he- his face is kinda weird, and stuff like that but, like -intelligible-

EXP Parkland27: Ok, what do you think about SCP-173

SCP-035: Hm... he's pretty cool, i just, he should really learn that he can get it in his head that he can move around even when people aren't blinking, like i know he might be a little shy, and i know all of this may happen, and stuff like that, but he should really learn how to move around when people are looking at him.

EXP Parkland27: Ok, what do you think about SCP-1048 and SCP-1048-A

SCP-035: There just teddy bears, with extra danger, there's nothing really to say... other than teddy bear go brrr

EXP Parkland27: Ok, what do you think about SCP-966

SCP-035 I dont know much about him, hes quiet... and does a bunch of stuff i dont know

EXP Parkland27: What do you think about SCP-5208-GL

SCP-035: SCP-52- SCP-5208-GL? hm...

EXP Parkland27: yeah, the toy soldiers

SCP-035: Yea? how did they get animated? that's my question

EXP Parkland27: I dont know?

SCP-035: because they were just to soldiers, now they just got pistols

EXP Parkland27; Probably some kid stuck the fucking toy soldiers up there nose, and maybe their mucus was magical or some shit 

SCP-035: I dont know... (pause) Going to cause a accidental breach after this?

EXP Parkland27: Huh?! 

EXP Parkland27: Dude I'm not breaking you out bro! so quit asking

SCP-035: Hm

EXP Parkland27: Was that all you needed to say?

SCP-035 (clearly frustrated) Yea pretty much

MTF walks in

MTF: Everything good in here sir?

EXP Parkland27: Yea everythings good, he keeps on wanting to break, and keeps telling me he wants to do a 'accidental' breach 'wink wink' this dude over here keeps saying that so yeah... WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Testing on a             was being conducted so I'll start on the part of the interview again, that's why I reacted, but they were testing next store, and were cross testing, so moving on

EXP Parkland27: Ok, what do you think out SCP-066?

SCP-035: I dont know who the fuck this Eric guy is though

EXP Parkland27: Oh, he says Eric and basically plays creepy music, and keeps saying Eric and Eric over and over again, if you say Eric he'll attacks you

SCP-035: Yea I figured that out the hard way

EXP Parkland27: So you dont know anything about it

SCP-035: No not really

EXP Parkland27: So what do you think about SCP-912, its basically a cop and kinda helps out the foundation in someway

SCP-035: I dont- you guys use him so technically he's not a SCP, just basically a... like... martyr that you guys use, he's there, but you use him way to much.

EXP Parkland27: Ok, what do you think about SCP-106?

SCP-035: -intelligible- he's pretty chill, you know, um, i like how he can phase through stuff, i wish I could, so i could take over the world (pause) world domination rules

EXP Parkland27: Alright what about SCP-999

SCP-035: Again you use him way to much, sorry but you guys use him way to much, he's an SCP, not your personally healer

EXP Parkland27: What do you think about SCP-1424, its a ah... dog

SCP-035: its a puppy, who doesn't like a puppy.

EXP Parkland27: Shi- I think its a little to big to be a fucking puppy to be honest with you.

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what do you think about SCP-939 and SCP-939-1?

SCP-035: Well, their genetic make up honestly makes them pretty good predators, except that they're blind.

EXP Parkland27: Except that they're blind?

SCP-035: Yes except that they're blind

SCP-035: they... They can... only see sounds or- not see sounds, but hear sounds, so like... if you guys could make some shoes that make no noise when you walk, maybe you can capture him better, you know, 'when they escape'

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what do you think about SCP-280?

MTF walks back in

MTF: Uh sir?

EXP Parkland27: Yea what's up?

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

SCP-035: Are you saying you want to have an uprising?

A test was conducted on SCP-035 with a huge spider

 

Moving on

EXP Parkland27: What do you think about SCP-280, its like a shadow basically

SCP-035: Yeah he hides away too much, and doesn't know how to speak to people, except for its face.

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what do you think about SCP-682?

SCP-035: What other can I say except that its a giant fucking lizard.

At this time Chaos Insurgency begins attacking

Moving On

EXP Parkland27: Ok, what do you think about SCP0-2191-1?

SCP-035: he needs to get over the blood thing its so 2012

EXP Parkland27: ok, um, what do you think about yourself 'SCP-035-1?'

SCP-035: I'm a pretty chill guy, i dont... hurt anyone, i just want to world domination purge the, purge the um, non-believers

EXP Parkland27: You are not a chill guy, I'll tell you that, you breached SCP-682 about a week ago, and almost killed everybody, and 'almost' caused the nuke the go off (pause) So I dont know how you're chill.

EXP Parkland27: Ok what do you think of SCP-098? its basically a head crab that will cut you open pretty good

SCP-035: He's a pretty cool person, and is pretty surgical, um... he doesn't talk a lot though

EXP Parkland27: Ok what do you think about SCP-131-A and SCP-131-B?

SCP-035: I really dont know anymore, they're just eyes that run around chief, but they do warn researchers like you so that's pretty good, why don't you have one follow you today?

EXP Parkland27: They're not here, but i am going to preform a Termination test on them later

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what about SCP-527 the fish guy that's basically human

SCP-035: He's annoying, I dont like him myself, he talks way too much

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what about SCP-076-2?

SCP-035: Genghis Khan Remastered

EXP Parkland27: What about SCP-343 'God'

SCP-035: He's fucking scary

EXP Parkland27: Why is he scary?

SCP-035: Because he can literary do anything

EXP Parkland27: What do you think about SCP-457 'The burning man'

SCP-035: He is also very scary, he will immediately set you on fire, burning FUCKING hurts!

EXP Parkland27: Alright, Why do you breach?

SCP-035: To take over the world, and free the facility of all it's dangers

EXP Parkland27: Alright, what do you think about the Foundation?

SCP-035: ahh, i could do without them, but glad they're here

EXP Parkland27: What do you think of the MTF?

SCP-035: They're annoying, their aim sucks, their trainings are wrong

EXP Parkland27: What do you think they can do to improve their training?

SCP-035: Have aiming practices once and while... and dont let anyone in

EXP Parkland27: uhh, what do you think you're here for?

SCP-035: To purge the world of its wrongs

EXP Parkland27: What do you think of the medical staff?

SCP-035: They're pretty cool, I've got shots from them before, other than that, pretty cool

EXP Parkland27: What do you think of the Utility Staff?

SCP-035: They're quiet, and keep to themselves which is pretty good, and willing to let me go once and while, but they look cool

EXP Parkland27: What do you think of GENSEC?

At this time SCP-035 has been breached by Doctor Bright

Moving on

EXP Parkland27: Ok, what do you think of the Ci or Chaos Insurgency? 

SCP-035: Ah, pretty chill guys, they-they've let me out a few times, occasionally

EXP Parkland27: What do you think of the Class-D?

SCP-035: I mean... they can go but they can also leave, they help me spread the infection

EXP Parkland27: Alright that was the like question i got to get the fuck out of here

Chaos insurgency is attacking

SCP-035 hey wait! come back for a second

EXP Parkland27: What?

SCP-035: If you ever want to come in here and chill-

EXP Parkland27: Fuck that

End of Test


 

 

 

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