999x1123 Cross Test - Requesting RFA Grading

[Lord Stolas]

This is not a lighthearted 999 test, just beware
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vzu4Iq-U8HpKPi1di3oICFuQcArJ4OLSz_oma3_FZXE/edit?usp=sharing

[JDWhatever]

Grammar (6.5/10)

The usage of grammar and spelling was very simplistic. An idea to try in the future to use more complex wordings, find a word that is "simple" then use a thesaurus to find a different word that means the same thing.  I think you could definitely add more details into your story to make it even more of an attention grasper.

Presentation (4.5/10)

            I'll go ahead and start with the parts that hurt you on points. The black background when not doing a "terminal computer" design is harder on the eyes and makes it difficult to read the document. The design without the uses of italics, bold, and underlining makes the design rather flat to be reading. There was no bibliography siting any of the background research, when producing any kind of documentation that gets published onto a public area, please make sure to site your sources. On the first page you had the word "test" when you didn't need to add that, since on the next page you had "question" and "hypothesis", now onto the topic of hypothesis, you worded it incorrectly. Hypothesis are meant to be simple and reflect what you expect the outcome of the test to be. An example of what should have been put is "If SCP-999 touches someone that has been affected by SCP-1123 the symptoms will be reverted back to the subjects normal state". When moving into the dialogue, there needs to be a split and distinction between; instructions, speaker, and dialogue. Example would be:

 

"[When informing D-9231 that they would be utilized in an audio test they became rather ecstatic.]

(AUDIO_231:123)

D-9231: So when we start this test how should I speak?     "

Finally, if there is any inhumane treatment of D-Class, it wouldn't be visibly written down. That would either be excluded from the test log or redacted information. 

            Things that I personally enjoyed about this document and thought worked great was the written out dialogue, there are some really good points in there and concern. I also liked the credits to the person who aided in the template. The usage of pictures was a great addition! My recommendation would be to add a border to them.

 

Lore Accuracy (6.5/10)

           Lore was accurate, but not as in-depth as I would have liked. For someone who hasn't read on SCP-1123, I had to do a good amount of extra research to make sure that lore was accurate.  So continue adding more information in the background information, so that new readers can understand what SCP's are being discussed. 

 

Execution of Test (5/10)

Due to the presentation, it made the whole test hard to follow. With no good separations between test and their results just made an odd slew of events. Plus the space and instructions between the test was rather vague. 

 

FINAL SCORE: 5.6/10

 

Notes

Do not be disheartened by the very in-depth analysis of the document. RFA grading is meant to be incredibly strenuous and detailed. The test document was very good in general but these points here can help make your test even better! Use these notes and watch how your future documents are better.