Robert 'Tomato' Peterson's Retirement

[Tomato]

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

I dont know what to write here because I dont know if i can put into words how i feel at this moment. It's as if the last few years has been building up to this exact moment. Here, in the cold room of my apartment, i look at my keyboard and reflect on everything that has happened. 

My name is Robert Peterson. I am a 26 year old software developer from the United States of America. For the past two years i have led a double life. A life as a Researcher at a Facility dedicated to the containment of hostile monsters and  entities.  I studied those monsters and developed bonds with my fellow Researchers. I have climbed the ranks of Research to the very top. Looking back on all i have accomplished, it's hard to describe the feelings that flow.

I first joined GamingLight SCP-RP in the summer of 2019. My main goal at the time was to interact with the SCP's on site and to play with them. I learned really fast that it wasn't as simple as i assumed it to be. Strict rules were in place and i had to follow them. I joined research in September of 2019. I was AWFUL for the first few months. I had no desire to follow any sort of rules or listen or even try to learn from Command. I was a loose cannon, a minge, a plague on the site. I would constantly try my hardest to annoy anyone and everyone who got in my way. When Protege got Lead researcher, i dragged him from meeting room down to 682's CC and threw him in. This was the first huge mistake on my end. I was scolded and reprimanded and nearly removed from the branch. I was demoted from Lead to Senior and I thought I had completely fucked my chances of ever getting command. Very soon after that i got PK'd and had to change my name to Tomato. That was strike two. I was basically on the door out.

Command applications came and went, and i was denied again and again. I began to wonder if i was just wasting my time. Maybe i should just quit. No one on the server likes me. I don't have the talent or skills to be command. What is the point. I should just leave...

And then i got command. Suddenly,  I had responsibilities. Mass tests, trainings, gradings. I was scared, but through some force beyond my comprehension, I made it through. Not only that, but I began to build relationships with the people in command and enlisted. I wasn't just another face on the wall at meetings, i was a face that held some sort of respect in the community. Now granted i had a long way to go to get high command but through the summer of 2020 i was producing the best documents of my life and cranking out mass test after mass test like there was no tomorrow. The spark was at an all time high and I was for sure I was cruising towards high command.

And it didn't fucking happen. I was beyond upset. So upset that i quit out of frustration. I was angry at Glados for getting AHOR at the time. I was angry at Weiss and Starstep and SMT and JMT and Admins and everyone. I quit, i had enough. No more getting fucked over. I'm out Goodbye...

 

And wouldn't you know it, it broke my fucking heart to leave. 

 

Reading all the messages in my retirement post absolutely shattered my heart into pieces. The love i felt from strangers i have never met in real life was nothing short of magical. It was like nothing i have ever felt before. 

So i came back, and worked my way back up the ranks until August 8th, 2021 where i received the title of DHOR. That and landing my current job are some of the proudest days of my life. I walked, head held high, knowing i had done it. I had reached my goal on the server. 

And the spark died.

I have done it all on this server. Every test, every conversation, every document. I ran out of ideas 6 months ago and have been burnt out for over a year at this point.  I took an LOA last week for a few days and when it came time to get back on the server Sunday i realized............

I didn't want to get on the server.

The spark i had is gone. The inspiration i had is gone. I haven't written a document in months. I have barley done any command logs in months. It's time for me to hang up the lab coat and step away.

 

When i was a child i didn't have any friends. I was socially awkward and was dealing with un-diagnosed mental issues at the time (OCD, Autism). High school came and went and i managed to even make a few friends and get a girlfriend. College came and after 3 years i Proposed to my Girlfriend. Going into summer of 2016 i had it all. Then i found out she had cheated on me and left me. Then all my friends stopped talking to me. Then the next girl i tried dating was killed overseas attempting to provide aid to the people of Syria.  My depression had reached an all time low at this point. So much so that one night i was sitting in my room....

Crying with a bottle of pills in my hand as i told my mom over the phone goodbye......

Thankfully, i didn't take them (Love you Mom!) and attempted to move on. But depression is an ugly beast. It rips and tears at you until you have nothing left and it gnaws at the bones of your soul and beats you down every day. From late 2016 to mid 2019 i barley spoke to anyone other than family. Then, by chance, i decided to buy Gmod and play some servers. I discovered SCP-RP and...

...

I had people to talk to. People who listened. People i could joke with. People i could play games with. People who cared that were not my mom or dad or family. Hundreds of people i could talk to. It was all i every wanted. It was all i ever needed. I was happy. For the first time in years i was truly happy.  I'm still truley happy. 

Im happy. At 12:20 AM CST On October 13th, 2021.....Im Happy.

 

As is tradition, i want to mention people who i have been friends with or interacted with that have made an impact on me. These are in no order and i will be adding to this list over the next week.

Glados-You have no clue how much your friendship means to me. Seeing you online is like a welcome beacon that means fun will be had. You are thoughtful and caring and such a wonderful human being. 

D - One of my closest friends on the server. One of the nicest human beings i have ever met. Your genuineness and thoughtfulness know no bounds and i look forward to years of gaming ahead with you.

Moonrose - Honestly one of the best people i have ever met. You haven't even been here a year and the effort you put into this branch is insane. I respect you more than you could ever imagine.

Eyelander - You have done an absolutly amazing job as a member of command and i fully expect you to be the next DHOR. Besides the cringe jokes that i give you way too much crap for, you are a fantastic person and i love having you around.

Light - I stole your name. I admit it. Again, just a wonderful person to be around and you bring so much to any teamspeak channel you are in

. snow, nydekore, grumpysharken, Daddy D Boi, and Will Nye - All fanstastic additions to this branch and i fully expect great things for you guys in the future. Keep your heads up and keep going strong.

Alexan - Welcome back. I hope you have a great time back in research ~Nya~

Parkland - Keep up the fantastic work and i expect you to be command soon

Zack Morden - One of the best people you will ever meet. Kind, caring, and thoughtful. You are a shining example of a member of this community.

Jummy and Vlad/monika - I coul't be prouder of you two. I want you both to always remember that. I am so happy to call you guy's friends and I can't wait for more adventures in the future with you guys.

Rhodes - One of my other close friends. I hope you are living your best life buddy. Such a wonderful person to be around

Soviet - Welcome back. I will visit you one day at your work i promise. Another fantastic person to be around and a true friend

Starstep - Still not sure if you are a robot or not. Besides that you are another awesome person to be around and chat with.

Weiss - Fought for me every step of the way, and for that i can never truly repay you. One of the best people on the server and a great friend.

Skela - I cannot wait to shake your hand and hand you $100 next year when you bench 275 lbs. A phenomenal human being and a good friend.

Hoovy - I hated you at first. I really did. You PK's me and i hated you. But the more i got to know you the more i realized how much that PK saved my research career.  Thank you. You are a good person!

Zeeptian - Thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating this server.

I will be adding more to this list so please don't lock it.

 

Finally, I want to say this. Thank you all so much to the best gaming experience i have ever had. I love you all.

-Robert 'Tomato' Peterson

“We’ll meet again, Don’t know where, don’t know when, But I know we’ll meet again, Some sunny day.” – Vera Lynn

 

[Yato Sensei]

Sad to see you go mate, I hope everything turns out for the better!  

[Adams the research one]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
07 brother. Enjoy your endeavors 
And i hope to see you in research chat from time to time

Edited October 13, 2021 by bobbiesade

[GLaDOS]

It's always been a pleasure Tomato.
Hope you stick around, and you'll be welcomed back anytime!
Take care friend!

[Bulborb]

Goodbye red fruit you were a fun guy to have around. Hope to see you again in the future take care!

Edited October 13, 2021 by Bulborb
For some reason my messaged copy and pasted itself

[Nydekore]

Thank you for everything Tomato!

From every chew out at a meeting or mass test to your wacky 682 TikTok antics, I have enjoyed every second of my time with you.

I'm glad to have been a part of a branch lead by you. You've shown greatness every step of the way here.

Hop in TS every once and a while, will ya?

[Cosmic]

-Support.

Denied.

Senior minging team has decided to deny this resignation

[Hoovy]

We've had our fair share of rough interactions, however in the end I am proud to call you a friend. Take care of yourself, and keep racking in those unbelievably lucky successful crypto earnings.

[FusionThunder]

Damn why are so many good people leavin 

[Eyelander]

o7
Thank you for everything tomato

[grumpysharkan]

We lost another one. I'll admit when I first joined I hated your guts but then once I got to know you, you became one of my favorite people to be around in the server.

[recon]

An inspiration to many researchers like myself. You were a massive part of why I stuck with research and what you did for research was amazing. Keep on killing it.

o7

[Former DHOR D]

Tomato, I wish you nothing but good luck. You made this server a better place then where you started. 

I hope we can stay in contact (Hmu if you wanna play Siege some time)

[Aussie GL]

No more judy hops...
o7

[Vonbraunthe7TH]

oh... I... goodbye...

07

[Dick Grayson]

Oh bro this is so sad i hope i will still see you in command chat posting your cringe judy hopps cause without them the server will feel empty 

[The Apple]

Damn, Stay around to chat why dont ya

Nobody has such a sharp wit for your mom jokes

Take care

[I disappear]

No more Judy hoops memes in randon! Seriously though sad to see you leave you were in research command when I first joined the server in March of 2020.

[Average Pipebomb enjoyer]

i had some lets just say arguments with you but i still wish you well hope to see you return someday and thank you for making research a great branch you were one of the best Research HCMD and also really fun to be around sometimes 

o7

Edited October 13, 2021 by russianweeb69

[Star]

Thank you for all you have done for Research and the server as a whole.
I wouldn't be lying when I say that you have made a great impact and helped lead the server to where it is today.

Now for you Tomato,
You are truly a one of a kind; incredibly dedicated and fun to be around.
You are one of, if not the most dedicated people I have seen on this planet.
Countless hours and time spent on the server over the past 2 years to get to the position you are in today, and it is truly impeccable to see that of you.
From your old mingy ways to now, it has been a long, and enjoyable journey, and I am so glad that we got you to move up to Deputy Head of Research by the end of it.
The server won't be the same without you, and it pains me to see one of the last 3 people from my time in Enlisted / Low Command in the Research Department leave.

Thanks for everything, Tomato. Be sure to visit!

[ShadowPL]

Tomato, you were an awesome person, and a great command member, thank you for everything you have done for the server.

[CyClone]

Tomato Tomato Tomato...

Thank you, you were one of the command that made me push for command in the first place.

you are the most kind person I know, and hope the best for you and your future self. 

I hope the best for you

CyClone

[Jack (utility one)]

I remember when you posted your firet resignation, I was there in teamspeak at the time. I never knew you to well than, but the reactions the researchers gave then told me everything I needed to know. Your importance to research was second to none, Ive never seen a reaction to a resignation like that before, and never will. You truly are a one of a kind and will never be possible to replace. Through your mingy faze, which even over in medical I was told of lol, to your unconditional dedication to research. I wish you farewell tomato. Have a good one my friend!

[Dr. Watkin]

Damn

[The Light]

I remember the days when I was a RA and hated you and honestly thought the blacklist inevitable back in 2019 - Early 2020... I really thought you weren't gonna last on the server for that long... But you proved me wrong... You set a great example on how someone that is the biggest minge can turn it around a full 180 and work their way up to their position if they put the effort into it. You're also one of favs too. You really are gonna be in my history books and in research. Take care and also (Change your R6 name or I'll sell all my dogecoin)

 

Edited October 13, 2021 by The Light