Project "Albert"

[Blarg]

Name and Research Rank: Medical Commander Blarg

Subject(s): Monkeys all named albert.

 

Targeted Results: To see the effects of space on monkeys.

Actual Results: 
Albert 1: Albert was sucked into the vacuum of space before we could set up the canister for him to be tested in. Albert 1 status: DECEASED
Albert 2: Albert 2 was pushed into moonpool without being in a canister. He was supplied with oxygen but soon after being pushed into space he floated into space never to be seen again. Albert 2 status: MIA
Albert 3: Albert 3 was put into a canister and supplied with oxygen. But the canister was sucked into the ships artificial gravity generator and smacked into the side of the ISD. Albert 3 was retrieved from the canister in " A Meaty state" Albert 3 Status: DECEASED
Albert 4: Albert 4 was semi successful.  The canister was successfully sent into space. Everything was going good until a tie fighter crashed into our canister. Albert 4 status: DECEASED. The SF status. CRITICAL CONDITION
Albert 5: Albert 5 was sent into space with only oxygen. Instead of actually making it out of moonpool he smacked into the side of moonpool and was killed on impact. Albert 5 Status: DECEASED
Albert 6: Albert 6 was sent into space with a canister and oxygen. All went well until we brought him in. Albert 6 crashed into the ceiling above moonpool. Albert 6 was retrieved in a "Crispy and mangled" state. Albert 6 status: VERY DECEASED
Albert 7: Albert 7 was sent into space with a canister and oxygen. All went fine and albert 7 landed safely back in moonpool. Albert 7 was retrieved alive and well. Albert 7 status: ALIVE

Procedures performed: None

 

How could the procedure be improved: Better equipment and planning.