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My time has come. My 48 hour.


Breen

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Hello, I am your Cross Test Manager, but not for much longer. I am sorry I am now part of the huge group leaving research. I have been with research for a few months, watching things change, for good or for bad. I watched everyone I "grew up" with in research leave. I watched a whole command shift. I watched the way Research works as a whole change. I watch the slow decline in activity. And I am currently watching research's death. I would be a fool to say that research is ins't in a bad place right now. Over time I have lost interest in research, as we can barely do anything due to low defcons or uncooperative d class. Every time I would post a test and it barely gets noticed on the forums or recognized in the discord, sitting in bunks hours on end waiting for the class d to settle down. It just slowly snuffed the fire out. When I hit low command it got worse. I was ok with the fact I had to put testing aside testing to lead the lower researchers. I was happy to train RAs to JRs and I was eager to see what they had in store for research. That did not happen. It was so disheartening to try to train RAs to the best of my ability just for them to go inactive. Hearing people diss research when I am class D. Every time it just made me more and more unmotivated. I have been considering resigning for a while, but the main thing keeping me there was not wanting to let oppenheimer down. He had promoted me from SCS up to KCM, then CTM because he believed in me. I wanted to prove to him I was loyal and hoped we could bring research up out of the grave it had already been sinking in since I joined. I kept trying to come up with ways to save it. I failed. I felt useless, the fact I, a command member, could not help out. I felt I was leaving high command to do it themselves, and felt obligated to help out, but I could not. I felt since I was so useless I am undeserving of the spot I hold. Then after seeing everyone leave research and oppenheimer give up, it made me lose hope. I also feel too disconnected from the research community, as if no one knows me that well, they just know I am the CTM. I feel I won't be missed much, I was not that important in research, nor will I leave a large mark upon leaving. I'll just be another person to leave research. I recognize and accept this, and that my spot will just be filled by whoever Spookie and Weiss see fit.

 

I do have a few words for the few I felt connected to in research.

 

Weiss: I don't know why but I have always felt you did not like me. Something about how you always use short responses or don't talk much gave me this impression. Regardless I hope you go far in research and stay strong and don't give up like me. Plus you were always cut out for a leader more than I ever was.

 

Trevdec: I honestly have no idea how you feel about me, but I believe even though you did not do much tests you are fit to be command.

 

Oppenheimer: I'm sorry for letting you down.

 

 

Edited by Breen

gog

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