In light of recent events, I am forced to make this manifesto as to my current situation on what I know and don't know. To all higher-ups on the server, this is not an admission of guilt. For the record, I've plenty more inquires of things that I regret, not to mention regrets on a video game.
Stage 1: Gn0me
I began on this server, quiet and drifting. I made money by doing petty jobs such as PD work or banking. One day, I found a player named EmptiedSkies who offered to help me raid a store. My first robbery in my career on the server sparked something in me, a dark part of me. I soon after changed my name to Gn0me, which soon became a formidable force in the gang ''Serpentine.'' Serpentine in fact was banned for minges coming and going, this extremely gave me a distaste for staff members. I began to be quite sour and frankly toxic on the server, killing even if someone said something wrong towards me. In a matter of weeks, I had ranked up around 30 warns. I took a break after a while, and with many changes to the motd and resentment towards my character growing, I had to change my name.
Stage 2: The Funnyman
This was during the reign of the map change, where I did different rps such as roleplaying out murder/bomb scenarios. I had minions, such as players with different clown names. This must've been the hallmark of my time on the server as a formidable force. Up until the point of my true manic episodes on the server.
Stage 3: The Black Swan Killer
This name was given to me after disturbing /me posts I gave, while being interrogated by FBI for hundreds of murders. (In rp terms). This died soon after, yet what I did with /me later changed me forever. This led to my present change, which could possibly be my downfall.
Stage 4: Vodka.
I must start off by saying a simple yet final concluding point : Vodka isn't a person, Vodka is an idea. Vodka is a lifestyle for me, Vodka is my counterpart. Vodka is my life, Vodka is my freedom. Vodka is my character, my inner thoughts. My true insanity bottled up and suppressed inside my head coms out through Vodka. Murdering, torturing, robbing, and getting mad. All I can obviously do in real life is get mad. Of course I never get to release my frustrations in real life, so I bottle it up and release it here. It wasn't the best choice.
It's over for me, my permaban is inevitable. I'm trying to stay under the radar, yet I hate being disrespected. I can't resist it to kill in game, for gaming is my release. I can't fight back in real life, I have to just bare the pain. I know it's wrong, I'm not asking for any second chances. There IS no chance for me. I'd like to thank Irwin, Fame, Bambob, Will Newel, Mockingbird, Logann, and LilGoat for attempting to support my claims that I'm an alright person. As to the rest of GamingLight's staff, I thank you and apologize for any mistreatment I have given you. As to the GamingLight community itself, remember my name. My name isn't just a username, it's a way of life.
My Final Statements to staff/anyone just joining the server.
Vodka is a way of gaming, and that is that gaming is a release. Yet remember, other people may be using it as a release also. Don't ruin their fun.
I'm not leaving the server, I just want to say something before the hammer comes down.
I'll continue working on my warns, however I cannot fix the damage I've caused.
Vodka will live on as a release, don't attempt to deny it. The madness, the torture, the murder; it's all a style of not caring yet not minging in a game.
My Final Statement
If I could start again, with a new form or new career, I wouldn't take it. Because with Vodka, Gn0me, and the Funnyman, I didn't do it for no reason.
I did it for me.
I loved it.
I was cold and ruthless.
And for once, for once I was alive.